Phrasal verbs & idioms. Written by an IT manager in Brazil.

I asked a beautiful lady out and she said yes. I took a shower and used my best cologne and went to get my car, or at least try to get it. There was a car blocking my car, so I went to my neighbor's home.
When I got there I heard a big noise. It was something blowing up and I was correct. He forgot about a spoon that was inside the microwave and then turned it on.
I rang the door bell and he answered the door very nervously.
What?
 I said, "Hello. I need to use my car and your car is blocking mine. Can you back yours up?"
 He didn't want to do it, but he went outside and backed up his car.
I was on my way when I realized that I was lost. I asked around where I was, but it seemed that no one could help me.
After 3 hours I finally found her house. She was so angry and I had to face the music.
I took her hand and we were on our way when she said to me, "I have to get something off my chest."
 I said, "I'm all ears."
She said, "Where have you been? I cried my heart out thinking about where you were."
 I explain and everything was resolved.
 We had a great time. We talked a lot about family and about a great friend that she considered her flesh and blood.
When it was 4am I asked for the bill. When I got it, I was so surprised. She realized it was a lot and offered to chip in, but I said no.
So I took her home and we said 'good bye' and she kissed me. It would have been better if it was not on my cheek. After all the dinner cost me an arm and a leg and all I won was a kiss on my cheek, but we had a great time.